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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27673246">Emotion Connection</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/stories_and_thyme/pseuds/stories_and_thyme'>stories_and_thyme</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Shuake Week 2020 [7]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Persona 5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Akeshu Week 2020, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Children, Dreams and Nightmares, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Love, M/M, Married Couple, Mild Blood, Mild Language, Shuake Week 2020, Soulmates share strong emotions, Trans Akechi Goro, Trans Male Character</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 23:54:39</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,536</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27673246</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/stories_and_thyme/pseuds/stories_and_thyme</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>The little girl before Goro Akechi is full of hate and anger. Was he always like this? Was he always so hellbent on revenge? So blinded by his need to avenge his mother? What a pitiful childhood he must've had...what a pitiful life he leads...</p><p>For SHUAKE WEEK 2020 ( soulmates + nightmares )</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Akechi Goro/Amamiya Ren, Akechi Goro/Kurusu Akira, Akechi Goro/Persona 5 Protagonist</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Shuake Week 2020 [7]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2018170</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>72</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Emotion Connection</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Akechi's past self will be using she/her pronouns<br/>Akechi's present self uses he/him pronouns and I HC him as a binary trans man<br/>read on wattpad if you don't wanna support AO3: https://www.wattpad.com/985309290-shuake-week-2020-nightmare-%2B-soulmates</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The first thing Goro notices is how small the child is. The girl is tiny. She’s tiny and fearless-- you can see it on her face-- and she bears a striking resemblance to himself. He blinks a few times trying to understand why she’s here in his home.</p><p>And then he realizes, with no lack of dread, he isn’t in his home. He’s somewhere as damp and dark as the insides of a sewer but it’s familiar. He knows this place. Where is he? He turns away from the kid to gather a better sense of his surroundings when he’s met with a foul stench.</p><p>He gasps, his eyes settling on the scene, and he wretches. Red. A lifeless vague body outlined with an ever-growing red puddle lays next to him. It’s slouched in a chair and has died over a metal table. </p><p>Everywhere smells like rust and copper. It’s putrid. He wants to vomit. God, how could he have not noticed the smell until now?</p><p>Pinching her nose in disgust the little girl asks, “Did you kill that boy?” Boy? Oh, the body has suddenly grown a more masculine shape but still, it could be anyone. </p><p>Goro jerks his head back to her and brings his hands up to motion a ‘no’ when he notices his hands. He’s wearing gloves. He hasn’t worn gloves in years. Most importantly though in his left hand he’s gripping a SIG-Sauer P230 like his life depends on it.</p><p>Maybe it does.</p><p>He remembers the gun model like a mother remembers her child's face and horror courses through him. He hasn’t seen the semi-automatic in a near decade and he always joked that whenever he saw the handgun again it would be too soon. Sure enough, it’s too soon.</p><p>The girl smiles, unnerving him. “Are you proud of yourself? It was a rather clean shot, totally looks like a suicide. That was the point, right? Good job.”</p><p>He wants to ask who she is and what she wants but his mouth is too dry to make a sound. The stench prevails but he thinks he’s getting used to it.</p><p>“I am you,” she says as if reading his mind. “Don’t you remember? I am thou, thou art I. That’s what RobinHood said right?”</p><p>Dropping the gun Goro staggers back. He’s so confused. A moment ago he was in his kitchen making some coffee to keep him up for a late-night of paperwork and now he was standing before his past self in some dank basement. </p><p>As he stumbles, back touches the cool metal of the table and his eyes snap into focus. He knows this kid. He knows the child is telling the truth. She is him. He is her. And yet, they couldn’t be more different. </p><p>Truthfully he doesn’t remember looking so short as a child. He recalls that he had in fact had pretty, long caramel braids, rosy cheeks, and long, feminine lashes but he doesn’t remember being a fucking midget.</p><p>Hoarsely he says, “I was not that short.”</p><p>Little Akechi laughs. It’s high-pitched, like a siren. He hates it. “That’s all you have to say!? Your first words to me are that!?” She falls to her side in a giggle fit. She looks so carefree as she rolls on the ground, wiggling like a worm on the pavement. </p><p>“Stop that,” Goro chides and walks over to pick her off the nasty ground. He’s not sure where he is but he’s not about to let his younger self get absolutely filthy. The moment he reaches to grab her arm his eyes widen in recognition.</p><p>Her outfit. That dress. Young Akechi is wearing the same dress he wore to his mother’s funeral at age nine. As if burned, he draws back immediately. He remembers the dress well. He remembers buying it mere hours before the service and ripping it apart the moment his mother was in the ground.</p><p>If the child notices his change she’s too busy laughing to comment on it. It takes a while but eventually the happy shrieks become fewer and far between-- she is seemingly done finding the situation hilarious. </p><p>“Sorry, sorry,” she says in a way that Goro knows means that she isn’t really apologizing. “It’s just funny you know? I finally meet my older self and you look nothing like what I thought you would.”</p><p>“Yes,” he responds dryly. “A decade of testosterone and an excellent surgeon tends to change one's physique.” Should he be having this conversation? Will this change his present? His future?</p><p>“Well yeah,” she plays with the hem of her dress. She’s gotten a stain of some kind on it but the dark color of her gown makes it hard to tell what exactly has gotten on her. “But I don’t mean your-- our-- body. I already have RobinHood. I’m smart, top of my class even,  I could guess what it meant to have a giant hulking man as a persona.”</p><p>He cocks his head. Had he really begun to question his gender that early on? He found he couldn’t look that far back into his memory and decided to not question her. Oh her?</p><p>He feels a little silly-- after all the kid is just him-- but asks anyway. “Pronouns?”</p><p>“Who cares,” she says with her unsettling grin returning. Well, that settles that matter. “I want to know if you got him.”</p><p>“Him?”</p><p>“Masayoshi Shido.”</p><p>“What?” Was revenge on Akechi’s mind even at such a young age?</p><p>“You killed that boy over there,” she motions behind the both of them, “to accomplish our plan right? To make Shido suffer, right? Is it working? Who was that? Someone close to Shido? Who was it? Huh? Answer me!” Enthusiasm lathers her voice as she pesters him restlessly. She’s practically vibrating waiting for an answer.</p><p>He is revolted. Glancing back at the body he still can’t make out any defining features. Just a boy-- or perhaps a man? Someone somewhat masculine. </p><p>“I don’t know,” he spits out and pushes her away. Goro has never liked children but he finds he hates his kid self more than he thought he would. Was he always this annoying? Was he still this annoying?</p><p>Like a serpent, she draws back from him, a smile still on her lips. She slithers over to where he dropped his gun and picks it up ready to fiddle with the trigger.</p><p>“Put that down,” he yells at her and rushes to go snatch his weapon back but he finds he can’t move. Did she do something?</p><p>Ever so slowly she turns to face him again but this time she isn’t smiling. She blinks once. Than twice. And asks with heavy disappointment, “why does this have Shido’s name engraved in it?” She holds the gun methodically, raising it to her eye-level and preparing to shoot her older self.</p><p>“Why is that bastard’s name on our gun?”</p><p>Jesus christ she was vulgar. What is he supposed to say? ‘Sorry past me but we end up making a Faustian bargain with the very man we set out to destroy and lost ourselves in the absolute madness that is the road to revenge.’</p><p>Somehow he doesn’t imagine that will go over too well. </p><p>“What the fuck did you do,” she demands with a steady voice and the gun still trained on him. Not once during this entire ordeal of being stuck in a cramped, dim basement has she shown an ounce of fear and that’s commendable but Goro wishes she would now.</p><p>He briefly ponders if young Akechi knows how to shoot. He knows he didn’t have the proper training before he started his...side hustle at fifteen but still he also knows he was always a quick study. Suddenly he’s very aware that the little girl in front of him could kill him.</p><p>Where was he? Was the metaverse back? Maybe he should have thought about that first. </p><p>With a stare sharper than it ought to be the girl’s piercing eyes are still on him. She makes no show of lowering the gun. She has a clear intent to fire.</p><p>“We worked for him,” he says finally. He can’t stand this stare-off anymore. If he gets shot so be it, it wouldn’t be the first time.</p><p>Betrayal flickers across her face. Face contorting in rage she lowly hisses, “Excuse me?”</p><p>“We worked for him,” he says again because it’s the truth. “We did his bidding and bid our time looking for the appropriate moment to strike.”</p><p>“You sold out,” she sniffs and pulls the trigger unblinking.</p><p>Pain blossoms in his stomach as the bullet tears into him. It’s not a surprise, he always knew she could do it. People don’t turn killers, it’s something you are born with.</p><p>You must be born with the ability to bury a human life below your own. It’s impossible to teach.</p><p>Faltering backward he grips his abdomen and curses. Fuck this, his shirt is getting wet. Goro stumbles his back up against a wall and slowly slides down, careful not to tear his wound. It’s not the worst he’s ever gotten but it still stings.</p><p>“Nice aim,” he comments.</p><p>Small Akechi sneers. “You’re a failure,” she says with malicious foaming from her mouth. She stomps closer to him. All of a sudden the little girl seems to be growing in size but it just must be the angle.</p><p>She screams,  “You had one job-- we had one job! Avenge Yua Akechi! And you couldn’t even do that right! You’re so pathetic you couldn’t do a damn thing correctly. You ruined her life, you ruined my life!” No doubt now, the girl’s size is amplifying at an alarming rate. She towers over Goro, her eyes slits.</p><p>“You should have never been born! You were a mistake! A mistake born out of a soulmatless bond and I hate you for your very existence! You should have died in the womb-- should have aborted you when I had the chance!” No longer does a girl stand before him but a tall, lean woman. She is gorgeous. Goro thinks she’s the pinnacle of beauty. </p><p>She waves the gun in her hand wildly, not caring if it goes off. Does she still have a finger on the trigger? “Fuck, I wish you were never born!”</p><p>Oh. He understands what’s happening here. This has to be a--</p><p>“I wish you ended up like him,” the woman sighs, eyes cut back to the table.</p><p>Still clutching his stomach Goro moves to see who she’s talking about. Sprawled over the table, pale and stagnant lay Goro Akechi. He looks to be seventeen, his eyes are wide open, bugged out, and his mouth agape. He looks so surprised like he wasn’t expecting the gunshot that bores into his skull.</p><p>Was this what Shido was going to do to him if the Conspiracy succeeded? A taste of his own medicine? How cruel. How fitting.</p><p>Weakly Goro faces the woman again. He wants to apologize for being alive and causing her so much pain. He wants to dig up his mother’s corpse and apologize directly into the soil where she lay. He’s so sorry.</p><p>He’s so sorry for being alive.</p><p>He hears the tell-tale click of the gun once again and a headache explodes in him.</p><p>Breathlessly his eyes open and his body flings forward. Gasping loudly he madly tries to get a bearing on his surroundings. Where is he now? What’s going on?</p><p>He feels something heavy on top of him and convulses his body instinctively, trying to wiggle whatever has got a hold of him off. A shrill meow goes up into the air and he feels something slice his arm sharp as a knife.</p><p>“Huh,” he mutters and sees his arm with the jagged cuts slashed into it. Freshly dripping. New. Knife? No, claws. </p><p>“Morgana?”</p><p>“What’s wrong with you,” the cat howls, his back arched. “You’ve been tossing and turning for like five minutes,” he says.</p><p>“What?” Goro is confused. What happened to the lady? To the gunshot? And why was Morgana here with him?</p><p>His tail flicks in thought. “Are you okay…?”</p><p>Oh.</p><p>That’s right. It was a dream. He felt heavy because of the blankets and that cat that insist on sleeping on top of him. It was just a nightmare. None of it was real. It was all just his subconscious fucking with him.</p><p>Perfect.</p><p>He groans into his hands, not caring about the open wounds down his forearm. God, he keeps having nightmares like this and they just won’t stop. His cell phone rings and he peeks at the caller ID.</p><p>“You should answer that.”</p><p>He knows he should.</p><p>“He will get worried if you don’t”</p><p>He knows he will. </p><p>He doesn’t move to pick up the phone. Morgana trots up onto the bed-side table and puts a paw to the screen accepting the call.</p><p>“Goro,” Akira’s voice breaks into the room. “Are you okay? I could feel something was off but you were asleep so the emotions were dampened. What’s going on? Are you safe?”</p><p>He grunts.</p><p>“Goro?”</p><p>“He’s alive,” Morgana answers. “He had another nightmare though.”</p><p>“Fuck,” Akira sighs. He knows how long Goro has been struggling with night terrors. The brunette has never had a healthy sleep schedule and they are to blame. “Hey, once I get back from my business trip how about we go on vacation, yeah?”</p><p>With his head still buried in his hands Goro nods. He would like that. Just him and his husband and their mangy cat.</p><p>“He nodded,” Morgana says.</p><p>“Yeah? Okay, cool. I’m sorry I can’t be home right now but I swear when I come back I’ll make you feel a thousand times better. Do you hear me?”</p><p>He raises his face and surveys the dark bedroom. “Mhm…” he mumbles. “I’m sorry to worry you, I know you’re probably at work right now. Unfortunately, it seems my brain doesn’t care for timezones.”</p><p>“Don’t worry about it,” Akira soothes. “We’re soulmates, remember?” How could he forget? “We share our emotions because we love each other and were made for one another. Never apologize for sharing with me.”</p><p>If Goro wasn’t so damn tired he would have made fun of his husband for such cheesy sentiments. But he’s exhausted and as ridiculous as the words are they pacify his overactive mind. He can feel the love Akira shares with him despite them being continents away. </p><p>He’s safe. He’s loved. He is not his past.</p><p>“Thank you, Akira,” Goro whispers. “I’m still sorry to take you out of work but thank you for calling me. I think I can go back to bed now.”</p><p>“Don’t be sorry, the meeting was boring as hell. I’ll see you in two days, my wish. I love you.”</p><p>He knows that very well.</p><p>“I love you too,” he says and hangs up. He checks his arm and sees that the bleeding has stopped but he should still bandage it. “Aren’t you going to apologize for scratching me,” he asks the cat, knowing the answer already.</p><p>“You shouldn’t have thrown me off.”</p><p>And despite it all, Goro smiles as he goes to find the first aid kit.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>twt: personaqueer<br/>please leave a kudos and maybe a comment if you liked what I wrote!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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